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So it has been almost two year since my last published blog post. The Quarter-Life-Crisis is still going strong although it has very much evolved and changed since I last wrote about it, as I'm sure have I.
Being post-study is, too put it simply, quite terrifying, I miss the comforting and familiar atmosphere of the class-room, the day-to-day routine, the feeling of importance and safety that comes with being a student, and I certainly miss the weekly study-link payments.
When you're a student you have a fairly sophisticated support system, for both your education, mental and physical health and finances, you have the facilities of the school, free nurse, subsidised everything in and out of school, and all this seemingly very abruptly stops with very little warning come graduation. And if you are anything like me you got a degree that by no means assures you a job come this difficult time in any young persons life, and I know I'm not the only one, as although I have chosen a career path that has always been notoriously difficult to break into, our generation has an unprecedented unemployment rate out of tertiary education in almost all fields.
Therefore you are left out in the cold with you flimsy degree certificate matching thousands of other graduates with no support system for the first time in your entire life, which as can be imagined is likely to exacerbate the symptoms of the Quarter-life Crisis (QLC). There are of course the lucky ones which I am fortunate enough to count myself among that have a family safety net financially, although even for us, though we can take off any pressure of actually having to be out on the street or starving, it is at a time in our life when we are pulling away from our family to 'find ourselves' be independent physically and financially, and currently that can be almost impossible.
All of this means you're life can become a sort of whirlwind of job applications, financial worries and responsibilities, anxieties over debt, work, rejections, responsibilities to the point where even household chores like washing, dishes and just keeping your bedroom tidy can seem overwhelming, you're blowing off good friends and family and before you know it you've wasted an entire month of doing nothing because you are so overwhelmed. It's like learning to ride a bike with training wheels and then suddenly someone takes them off and hides them with no warning whatsoever.
Now unfortunately all this is just part of being this age, everyone has to go through this transitional period, and here are some things that I've learnt and ways that help me to get through it.
BE FLEXIBLE
It is tough not having a plan in motion, not knowing what's going to happen or where you're going to be down the line. So something you could try is being flexible. Instead of taking all the job rejections as confirmation that you are eternally screwed and wasted all that time and money studying when you can't even get a job in the field and creating an atmosphere of self-doubt and second-guessing yourself, maybe see them as a sign, or an opportunity even. Sure the plan was always to go to uni, graduate and get a job, but try being flexible, see what other opportunities are out there for you right now, maybe you could travel or pursue a hobby instead? You could still keep applying for jobs but the rejections won't be so heart-breaking if your not staking your entire life right now on them. You're young, you're fit, take the time to do something you never considered doing and see where it takes you.
SAVE, SAVE, SAVE
Unfortunately you might just have to accept that now isn't the right time in your life to be spending money, you can look forward to the years where you can just go on a shopping trip, or out for a nice dinner, or treat 'yo' self, but now is not that time. Save your money for rent, bills, and to invest in yourself and you will be ever so much more grateful that you have a roof over your head, a full stomach, and the equipment you need to pursue your work and hobbies that you won't even remember how much you really really wanted that awesome hat that would have looked so great. Budget a certain amount of spending money for every week and stick to it. It's just not worth the stress of figuring out how to pay your rent. It basically comes down to one very simple concept, if you're not sure that you have the money, don't spend it. And for those that haven't finished study yet, definitely SAVE for the love of god, my biggest regret is that I didn't.MAKE GOOD HABITS
Now I know this will make you sigh and go I know, I know, I mean this is an obvious one, everyone knows this, and it is a lot easier said than done. But I'm just sharing what I have learnt and what has helped me from my own personal experience. The saving habits come under this as well.-Eat slowly
-Stop eating when you are no longer hungry
-Eat some fruit and veg every day
-Go outside every day
-Go to sleep before 11pm on a regular basis
-Get up before 9am on a regular basis
-If you have no plans for a day make some (whether that be seeing a friend or doing chores)
-Keep a tidy Bedroom and Kitchen
-Make your bed every day
-Start a project that keeps either your mind or your body occupied and work a little on it every day.
-Exercise regularly.
-And for you girls, when you can go without a bra, do.
I by no means am saying that I always do all these things, but when I do, it improves my mental, emotional and physical wellbeing immensely.
DON'T TAKE REJECTION PERSONALLY
If you are anything like me you will become very familiar with rejection. It's not always outright rejection, more often than not it's a subtle rejection, a 'you are great but we have no need of you at this time, stay in touch' kind of rejection that sounds good at first but gets old real fast. It's very important therefore to not take it personally, unfortunately rejection is a big part of entering into the real world, particularly the work-force, and if it's something you're not already used to just like I wasn't, it's time to well and truly get used to it, receive it well, don't take it personally and move on. Always remember that people admire and respect others that take rejection well, use it as a learning experience, ask what you could do better next time and if they say to keep in touch do. Which leads on to always following up, if someone doesn't reply to you're email, follow up and email again, if someone says they'll get in touch and then don't, you get in touch with them if possible, walk the line between persistent and annoying, don't expect someone to remember you, people are busy, you may need to remind them. And on a side-note ALWAYS make sure you get their name right, it's a consideration that can go a long way.
LEARN TO LOVE FAILURE
You will fail, and it will be spectacular every-time, and it's hard in the moment to look at it as a learning experience that will lead you onto different paths than originally planned that more often than not work out for the best. But every time you fail, try keep your chin up, keep some perspective and think that it is for the best. As someone personally who has always struggled with any concept of failure I find this to be perhaps the hardest aspect of all, but looking back with some distance on any past failures whether it be academic, professional or in relationships, every single one has worked out for the better and I have learnt more from than anything I've ever accomplished.
DON'T BE NEEDY
It is super easy, particularly when you're not doing anything, to become a nuisance. Remember that just because you're not doing anything doesn't mean other people aren't busy. Respect that you're friends and family have very busy lives, and be sure to always remember that just because they maybe don't reply to you or don't check in on you or skip out on coffee or lunch it does not mean they do not care about you and is never something to take personally. When you're busy you often forget to check in with friends and that's fine, cause friendship doesn't mean always being at each others beck and call, it means caring for the other person and being there to talk and support them when they really need it. Just because you haven't seen each other or talked in a while doesn't mean you've stopped caring about each other does it? Take it easy on your friends and family, and remember they can't be there when you really need them if they don't know that you're in need!
I hope someone else finds these useful, I myself am still negotiating and learning how to abide by them, and new things to help to combat the QLC all the time. And although this isn't mentioned in the above, I think the most important thing is to KEEP TRYING, NEVER GIVE UP. Persistence is key and although this is more or less a pep talk to myself I want everyone else to listen because surely if you are determined and eternally persistent, eventually you will get there.. surely.. right?
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| Some inspiration from inspiration, famous for her persistence, Leslie Knope |
-Emsy
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